Dallas Indie Comedy Fest

Blog 12 - Cancel Joel!

4/1/2025

written by: ANONYMOUS

WE THE FREE THINKING PEOPLE OF THIS FAIR CITY HAVE FOUND JOEL TO BE CORRUPT AND A DEMON UPON THE COMEDY SCENE.
FOR TOO LONG HAVE WE BEEN SILENCED. LOOK UPON THE EVIDENCE WE HAVE OBTAINED BELOW OF THIS FROG'S DOINGS.

NO LONGER SHOULD HE BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE HIS WORK WITH DALLAS INDIE COMEDY FEST.
READ AND FIND THE TRUTH.
FEEL THE TRUTH
LAUGH AT IT AND HUNGER FOR JUSTICE!

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Blog 11 - The Slime Machine

3/26/2025

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(A Tour Through 10 Historical Crushes)
written by: Emily Baudot

You don’t have to be one of the I.D.I.O.T.S. to know that history repeats itself. It’s an idiom, so that means it’s also an indisputable fact. The logic then follows that we should look to history for advice about everything. Cryptocurrency trends? History will tell us where to put our fake money. A loving, accepting approach to trans rights? I bet someone has historically treated trans folk kindly, even if I can’t think of anyone right this moment. Ideas about who to boink? You guessed it: the annals of history can only keep us on course.
In the spirit of productive diddling, I’ve taken it upon myself to list out some of history’s most pungent personalities. I’ve also taken it upon myself to rank them from least arousing to most arousing. Ahem, you’re welcome? And hey! If you want to know more of my horny opinions – or my not-horny opinions about horny things – keep an eye out for ‘Horny Jail Book Club,’ a show led by Dallas comedian Wes Davis and co-starring Beth Jones (she’s an I.D.I.O.T.!) and Jeff Garlish. We review spicy books, from the good to the bad to the downright problematic. We even do some ~live fanfiction readings.~
But you don’t care about my hobbies. You’re a randy little cretin, and you want to read about history’s sluts. So heeeeere they are!

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blog #10 - Fests of Futures Past

3/18/2025

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written by: Raye Maddox

Author’s Note: Everything you are about to read from here on out is verified journalism and the truth. I have sent the documents I used for this blog post to many credible sources, ranging from researchers to scientists, and the tests all came back verified as real. This will be hard to believe at first, and even harder to believe as you continue reading, but I assure you, dear reader, this really happened and may still potentially happen. Time is a fluid, fickle, tricky little thing so it is unknown if the events detailed here will still happen, or, if by publishing this, we have entered a new split timeline where they no longer will due to our awareness of those events (pseudo-quantum level stuff, folks).

Up until Thursday’s Blood Moon I was stumped on what to write for my government-mandated and assigned blog post for the Dallas Indie Comedy Festival blog. Should it be a listicle? Review-based? An essay on some bizarre topic? An interview? A diary entry? I just couldn’t figure it out, so I looked up at the Blood Moon in the early hours of Friday morning and a spark came upon me.
I mean this literally.
In the center of the Blood Moon a spark shot out and grew larger and larger by the second, until it touched down right beside me like an arrow from heaven. There was a blinding light as it came down, and once my eyes adjusted I could see there was a capsule of a smooth make I could not properly conceive of. Glancing upon this thing of smooth metal and neon track lighting there was an immediate recognition within my very being which caused me to wonder if this capsule came from the future. A light mist slid off the creation and upon its body I spotted a slight divot, implying a handle. Ensuring the metal was cool to the touch, I lightly placed my fingertips inside the divot, and finding it safe to apply more pressure I lifted open a hatch. Inside this capsule, which was about three feet long and could easily be carried in two hands, I found a journal. Opening it and reading the words inside gave me the truest shock of my life.

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Blog #9 - The Green Room Guide

3/11/2025

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written by: Beth Jones

Tips and Rituals to Guarantee a Great Show
It’s show day. Your nerves are taking over, your head is swimming with worry, and your group chat is popping off. After a full day of being lost in your mind, you have just fifteen minutes in the green room with your team to set the tone and mentally prepare for your show. Here are five tried-and-true tips that will help you and your teammates maximize your time together and take the stage with confidence!

1. Blindfold Yourselves and Tell Secrets
If you forgot your show day blindfold, a sock will do the trick. The goal here is to heighten your listening and speaking skills, which are crucial for any improv show. Once everyone’s eyes are covered, one person starts by sharing a secret. The more embarrassing or incriminating, the better. Improv teams are built on trust, and what better way to test that trust than to share something shameful or illegal? If you’ve ever committed adultery, murder, or mean girl behavior, this is the time to come clean. A good green room confession will leave you feeling light and free and ready to take the stage! Industry tip: have an NDA handy just in case.

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blog #8 - Clock-on-a-pole

3/4/2025

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written by: Emily Baudot

Clock-on-a-Pole: What about ‘em, Em???
You know what they are. It’s a light post but instead of a light it’s an analog clock. It’s a clock-on-a-pole. They’re quaint, but in classic Baudot fashion I found myself taking umbridge* with their existence. At least a light post provides immediate benefit (vis a vis, helping you see at the speed of light). Clock-on-a-pole just stands there and says, “Hello everyone! I can help you know what time it is! But only if you distract yourself long enough to look at my numbers. Alternatively, you can glance at me quickly, hold the image in your mind, and figure it out as you’re walking away so no one knows you can’t read analog clocks very fast.”
*(The linguistic roots of the word “umbridge” precede Harry Potter, as it turns out. You learn something new every day! She’s a clever one, that Just Kidding Rowling.)

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THE BLOG

Blog 12 - Cancel Joel!

written by: ANONYMOUS

Blog 11 - The Slime Machine

(A Tour Through 10 Historical Crushes)
written by: Emily Baudot

blog #10 - Fests of Futures Past

written by: Raye Maddox

Blog #9 - The Green Room Guide

written by: Beth Jones

blog #8 - Clock-on-a-pole

written by: Emily Baudot

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