Blog #1 - An Audit of Idiocy

From the Desk of Joel, your loyal DICF Reporter:

Dear Reader,

First and foremost, welcome to the inaugural Dallas Indie Comedy Fest blog post! As we build up towards the festival in mid-April there will be a brand-spankin’ new post every Tuesday. We have so many grand and great ideas planned for this blog, including guest writers! Every week’s post will leave you wondering what will come next: a movie review, a how-to guide on laughing during an improv set, the best places to commune with spirits in Dallas? Who knows.
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But before the future comes the present! And what better way to take account of the present than through an audit!

We here at the blog have asked The Idiots behind DICF hard hitting questions and pledged to give the answers out to the public, for transparency sake. There have been many claims and allegations about who The Idiots are, where they come from, and what their intentions are with the beloved Indie Comedy scene of Dallas, Texas. We sat down with them on a cold, below freezing day in an expansive outdoor garden. Peacocks and jaguars roamed the grounds freely, while a frigid breeze frisked my scarf, as if it was attempting to find contraband. All six Idiots sat across a small stone table from me with a majestic water fountain splayed behind them, although the streams were solid lances of ice.

Joel: Let’s begin at the beginning, yes? Where are each of you originally from?
All in Unison, except Stefan: Dallas
Stefan: Eldorado, Arkansas

Joel: Ah right, then it’s a good thing this is indeed a Dallas Festival. My readers will be happy to know it is all in the hands of locals.
Raye: Your readers can shove it.

Joel: Ahem, well speaking of readers, did anyone have any interestingly-named Third Grade teachers in school?
Ashley: Mrs. DeVinchinzo!
Beth: Mrs. Ceiling
Raye: Mrs. Hitchborn
Chelsea: Mrs. Berryhill

Joel: And, by chance, let’s go around and share everyone’s favorite four-digit number sequence…
Ashley: Okay, but these first three questions are password-phishing questions!
[All Other responses to this question have been redacted]

Joel: Now that everyone’s identities have been verified I can confirm to my readers you all are all certified comedians. I’m curious about something, with so much comedy in Dallas do you ever find anything not-comedy related, erm, funny?
Madi: Mustaches!
Beth: Existential trauma!
Stefan: IDK, video games?
Raye: IDK, comic books?

Joel: Perfect, and what is something inherently comedic that you find to be comedy then?
Stefan: Clowning
Ashley: Yes, clowning and the naturally-occurring reactions to falling down.
Chelsea: Repeating something louder when someone says “What?!”
Beth: Bananas

Joel: Those are some classics. Looking towards the future a bit here, is there something about the Festival you are looking forward to the most?
Beth: Seeing and meeting performers from out of town!
Madi: From far and wide!
Ashley: Oh man- so many things! Prior to the actual fest, I’m looking forward to nailing down sponsors and getting this sucker funded!! Also looking forward to a sleepover after the fest where all the idiots eat snacks, braid hairs, and reflect on how badass the festival was and all we learned and future dreams.
Raye: Seeing the reaction to the new batch of trading cards coming y’all’s way!
Stefan: The workshops!
Chelsea: Laughter of the crowd.

Joel: Lastly, my readers would like to know…heard any good rumors lately?
Ashley: Ashley, Rachel, and Chickenhead are in a throuple.
Madi: Aliens are among us.
Stefan: I heard TikTok is being banned…
​Beth: Rumours, Fleetwood Mac's 1977 studio album.

And there you have it, dear reader. Tune in next week for Part 2 of this interview, where I delve into the nature of all manners of creatures and ghouls with the IDIOTs. Keep your eyes peeled on this blog for other fun posts which will tantalize and scandalize the indie comedy scene in Dallas!

Laugh at It!
​~Joel