written by: Raye Maddox Author’s Note: Everything you are about to read from here on out is verified journalism and the truth. I have sent the documents I used for this blog post to many credible sources, ranging from researchers to scientists, and the tests all came back verified as real. This will be hard to believe at first, and even harder to believe as you continue reading, but I assure you, dear reader, this really happened and may still potentially happen. Time is a fluid, fickle, tricky little thing so it is unknown if the events detailed here will still happen, or, if by publishing this, we have entered a new split timeline where they no longer will due to our awareness of those events (pseudo-quantum level stuff, folks).
Up until Thursday’s Blood Moon I was stumped on what to write for my government-mandated and assigned blog post for the Dallas Indie Comedy Festival blog. Should it be a listicle? Review-based? An essay on some bizarre topic? An interview? A diary entry? I just couldn’t figure it out, so I looked up at the Blood Moon in the early hours of Friday morning and a spark came upon me. I mean this literally. In the center of the Blood Moon a spark shot out and grew larger and larger by the second, until it touched down right beside me like an arrow from heaven. There was a blinding light as it came down, and once my eyes adjusted I could see there was a capsule of a smooth make I could not properly conceive of. Glancing upon this thing of smooth metal and neon track lighting there was an immediate recognition within my very being which caused me to wonder if this capsule came from the future. A light mist slid off the creation and upon its body I spotted a slight divot, implying a handle. Ensuring the metal was cool to the touch, I lightly placed my fingertips inside the divot, and finding it safe to apply more pressure I lifted open a hatch. Inside this capsule, which was about three feet long and could easily be carried in two hands, I found a journal. Opening it and reading the words inside gave me the truest shock of my life.
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written by: Emily Baudot Clock-on-a-Pole: What about ‘em, Em???
You know what they are. It’s a light post but instead of a light it’s an analog clock. It’s a clock-on-a-pole. They’re quaint, but in classic Baudot fashion I found myself taking umbridge* with their existence. At least a light post provides immediate benefit (vis a vis, helping you see at the speed of light). Clock-on-a-pole just stands there and says, “Hello everyone! I can help you know what time it is! But only if you distract yourself long enough to look at my numbers. Alternatively, you can glance at me quickly, hold the image in your mind, and figure it out as you’re walking away so no one knows you can’t read analog clocks very fast.” *(The linguistic roots of the word “umbridge” precede Harry Potter, as it turns out. You learn something new every day! She’s a clever one, that Just Kidding Rowling.) written by: Raye Maddox The number five is nice and round, almost even. If there was one number I would contest should be an even number it’s five! Just look at a 10, or 15, or 20, or 100, or 1025! Solid, brick-like numbers, which is similar to a round, safe even number (think 2, 8, or even 64). So why do programs, counters, and speedometers sometimes stop at increments of 5s? Thinking even further, why do most Improv Comedy Programs (ICPs, for short) halt at a Level 5? I can only imagine it's because 5, as just mentioned, is a beautiful, perfect, serene number.
Sure, this isn’t a nation-wide standard yet, though I hope it will be soon under this new administration, and admittedly there are a few ICPs in LA, New York, or Chicago that only have four levels, or three, or two, or just one. But, for the sake of this blog, let’s imagine a world where an ICP continued after Level 5…what more could a burgeoning and supple improviser learn in a whole new course-level? More space-work? More accents? More warm-ups? No. They would learn a deeper way to enjoy consciousness, a way to expand their mind and, hence, playstyle. Introducing: Improv Level 6: Sleep and Dream-Play A Seven-Week Advanced Improv Course |
Editor of the blogJoel has spent a great amount of time admiring newspapers and has fancied himself an amateur investigative journalist since grade school. He's proud to present what he is calling "his life's work", though this blog is his only work for now. Archives
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